Woman – specially a married woman is often referred to more as Mrs (surname of husband). When I was a kid, I found it odd and didn’t quite understand it. When I grew up, I had questions. But now that I am married, I know where it comes from. I like to be called CA Parinita Agarwal /Adukia, more than Mrs Adukia. As the first name gives me a sense of identity and individuality, and the prefix adds to the self confidence that I have achieved something.
To be clear, it’s not about what name or surname you are being referred to, but the intention, and the feeling you get when you being called out by that name. Do you feel a sense of Pride, an individual, a name which signifies you?
Frankly, I have seen Woman lacking this individuality, which is reflected not only by their names, but the sense of self respect they have and how the society respects them. They are seen more as a second member in the family, where the major decisions lie in the hands of a Man.
This can change only when woman starts finding their worth. If you do not value yourself, no body will.
Finding individuality doesn’t always mean working in a corporate or being an entrepreneur. But what you can contribute to the society as an individual ( not only your family). Doing something for the family I feel is more of a responsibility imbibed in a woman( which we are supposedly have to do). But when you add value somewhere as an individual, a human, ( not as a relationship of a mother, wife, daughter or relative) is when your individuality counts. And let me tell you, this truly gives you power, because you start living a life outside a safe place. People look up to you as someone with potential, and talent. This feeling is what gives you the self pride, self confidence and self worth you are looking for.
And when you have this self worth and respect, your family members also start looking at you differently. Yes our Indian culture is to be blamed for the centuries of beating down of the individuality of a woman, but I also now know, that this responsibility lies in the our hands. Specially, in this era, I know women still face family pressure, but it’s in your hands to take a stand for your worth and individuality and find the meaning of your existence.
Go Woman, you are not only a daughter, a wife, a mother, a daughter in law, you are much much more than that. Go find your individuality. Go find that self worth and meaning of your life. Go find how can you give back to the society in your own way and live with pride. Go love yourself and pamper yourself. You don’t need a man to do that. Go live your life.